Jealous Ever

I ever heard that if we do something good, our left hand shouldn't  know.  well.. it's ok if u dont n never know what i have done.... poor me, no one knows what i've done even someone who always i love so much until i die someday... it's ok if i never make u proud of me... but at least dont show ur love for him in front of me or dont say something good about him which i can hear. do u know, i've tried to ignore or tried to dont care what u say about him. but i cant cz i love u so much..if i try harder but it makes me falling in a pain deep hole who has no ending. please God, i beg u.. give me strenght to face it, to hear it. but i wont pray to disappear my jealousy  for her cz if i pray for that, means my love for her would dissappear too..

if there are readers who find ungrammatically sentences or wrong writting, please tell me... cz i still learn how to write in good way n i wrote all writting here without editing.. heheheheee