An Ugly Duckling: Sometimes

u know... sometimes i am tired of being strong.. sometimes i feel down n no one besides me. but i think all of those i feel like that's too weak n disgusting feeling that i have. but i am just lil bit tired want to be lil bit spoiled. wanting someone stays beside me when i feel down n sad. is it natural?

n when i am in that position, i wish i could just sleep for a couple of three days cz that's a good way to escape reality....

am i too pathetic for wanting someone? i have a pride but i am just human being who need to share my problem.i know my level is too high.. but i just cant make relationship with someone who i dont interest. i cant be like girls who love someone bcz of lonely.. i need someone who has good quality..... if u think that i am a dreamer then i will say "YES I AM"... n i dont want to give up just like that.. i believe i will get the one that i want. see i am too pathetic right?

sometime to make me strong i often tell my self that i haven't needed that one.. that kind of thin... i tell my self many times. i tell my self that i have to focus on my education n my carrier. i havent needed that one. i have to focus.. i have to focus.. but sometimes i failed telling my self. i am just tired... really tired.

when i am having feeling that.. it's like i am going to be crazy..it's like i dont understand my feeling, my self. it's like i dont owe my self. i dont owe my mind. i cant control my mind n my sadness. i am old enough but it's like i still havent found my self. i havent understand my self. lucky for people in such young age but they have found their self.

n it's getting worst when i have fever. it's like i am so weak.. i am really pathetic.

that's why i wist i could just sleep for couple of days or three days. that's a good way to erase reality.

when i feel this way i love to hear song "carry you" by union J. it's like they sing for me...